So, I have decided to type all of them down for those who are having trouble walking up to that guy or girl you absolutely adore and go, "Hey!" and do a smooth move that will sure to have them notice you! Well, first I will do things for the girls. Although guys do make the first move...
Advice for Girls
From the book Dateable: Are you? (And from my health class at school)
From the book Dateable: Are you? (And from my health class at school)
Be Mysterious! There is just something about a girl you don't know anything about. She's mysterious. She's intriguing. A guy will do anything to pursue her and discover the unknown.
Guys want a Challenge! They enjoy the chase and winning the prize. They want to be the knight in shining armor that saves the princess.
Don't Whip the Guy, Girls! The last thing a guy wants is to be whipped, because it means you are controlling him. It damages his ego and makes him feel less like a man.
Guys like Girls to be Girly! (This is something I DO NOT get! Some girly-girls are so annoying!) They like that you smell good and your skin is soft. They like that you are different from them.
Common Mistakes that make Girls less Mysterious:
1. Marathon Phone Calls. You think the longer you talk the more compatible you are. When you give him all the hidden info there is nothing left to chase. He might act like he wants to talk forever, but he doesn't. He will get overloaded and lose interest fast. Keep the conversation short, 15-30 minutes max. Be the one to end the phone call; that makes him want more. Set a timer if you have to; tell him you have other things to do, etc. It will make you more mysterious.
2. Don't call or ask the guy out. You might be impatient and tired of waiting for him to make the fist move, but guys like to do the chasing. If there is no chasing involved they guy will get bored and lost interest. He is letting you take the risk of being rejected. He is not standing up and being a man.
3. Telling your secrets. This is a way that females connect emotionally, but guys can't deal with it and may become uncomfortable. When they become uncomfortable they will want to create space and will start avoiding you. Guys just want to have fun and adventure, they don't want to hear all about your life traumas. Remember this relationship will end and when it does, you're stuck with someone who knows your deepest secrets and no loyalty.
4. Don't plan the date. One of the best ways to tell if a guy is really into you is to see what kind of effort he puts into dating you. A guy will work hard for something he wants. So let him take control. You can give suggestions for what you would like, or if you want to do something cool in town, tell him. If he isn't willing to plan something for you, he isn't really interested in you.
5. Don't pay for the date. A guy will spend money on something that he thinks is valuable. Girls, you are playing all the time, the guy will start feeling really weird. Most guys will start feeling like less of a man, maybe without even knowing why.
6. Don't accept a date on short notice. If you accept the date, you will be seen as the go-to girl for when he doesn't have anything better to do. If the guy is interested he will figure out how to get on your social calendar.
7. Girls pay off. What I am talking about is any physical gratification. It could be holding hands. It could be a hug. A kiss. Guys are looking for anything that will feed their egos and satisfy their desire for the physical. And girls often give it freely. Giving your affection to a guy right away doesn't make you more valuable. It doesn't make him like you more. You just gave him a prize without him fighting for it. If a guy doesn't invest the time and energy to get you, you become worthless.
Guys want to put the effort into you. They want you to be a challenge. Yes, if given the chance they will take the lazy way out. They will let you do everything. But that is not what attracts them. That is not what keeps them coming back for more. They have to pursue. They have to plan, to pay. They have got to have the challenge. If you want a guy to know how valuable you are, you have to act like you are valuable.
Guys want a Challenge! They enjoy the chase and winning the prize. They want to be the knight in shining armor that saves the princess.
Don't Whip the Guy, Girls! The last thing a guy wants is to be whipped, because it means you are controlling him. It damages his ego and makes him feel less like a man.
Guys like Girls to be Girly! (This is something I DO NOT get! Some girly-girls are so annoying!) They like that you smell good and your skin is soft. They like that you are different from them.
Common Mistakes that make Girls less Mysterious:
1. Marathon Phone Calls. You think the longer you talk the more compatible you are. When you give him all the hidden info there is nothing left to chase. He might act like he wants to talk forever, but he doesn't. He will get overloaded and lose interest fast. Keep the conversation short, 15-30 minutes max. Be the one to end the phone call; that makes him want more. Set a timer if you have to; tell him you have other things to do, etc. It will make you more mysterious.
2. Don't call or ask the guy out. You might be impatient and tired of waiting for him to make the fist move, but guys like to do the chasing. If there is no chasing involved they guy will get bored and lost interest. He is letting you take the risk of being rejected. He is not standing up and being a man.
3. Telling your secrets. This is a way that females connect emotionally, but guys can't deal with it and may become uncomfortable. When they become uncomfortable they will want to create space and will start avoiding you. Guys just want to have fun and adventure, they don't want to hear all about your life traumas. Remember this relationship will end and when it does, you're stuck with someone who knows your deepest secrets and no loyalty.
4. Don't plan the date. One of the best ways to tell if a guy is really into you is to see what kind of effort he puts into dating you. A guy will work hard for something he wants. So let him take control. You can give suggestions for what you would like, or if you want to do something cool in town, tell him. If he isn't willing to plan something for you, he isn't really interested in you.
5. Don't pay for the date. A guy will spend money on something that he thinks is valuable. Girls, you are playing all the time, the guy will start feeling really weird. Most guys will start feeling like less of a man, maybe without even knowing why.
6. Don't accept a date on short notice. If you accept the date, you will be seen as the go-to girl for when he doesn't have anything better to do. If the guy is interested he will figure out how to get on your social calendar.
7. Girls pay off. What I am talking about is any physical gratification. It could be holding hands. It could be a hug. A kiss. Guys are looking for anything that will feed their egos and satisfy their desire for the physical. And girls often give it freely. Giving your affection to a guy right away doesn't make you more valuable. It doesn't make him like you more. You just gave him a prize without him fighting for it. If a guy doesn't invest the time and energy to get you, you become worthless.
Guys want to put the effort into you. They want you to be a challenge. Yes, if given the chance they will take the lazy way out. They will let you do everything. But that is not what attracts them. That is not what keeps them coming back for more. They have to pursue. They have to plan, to pay. They have got to have the challenge. If you want a guy to know how valuable you are, you have to act like you are valuable.
Alright, now I am going to do the thing that girls do that bug guys on the post above. Go look!
Ciao for now,
Lizzy
Lizzy
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