Math

Mom: "Eric, I'm signing you up for the middle school advanced learning test. There's a Math test, English test, or a Science test. It goes from either 7:30 to 11:30, or 12:30 to 4:30."
Eric: "What?! The test lasts for three hours?!"
*awkward pause*
Mom: "Uhh..."
Me: "Well, at least we know you aren't taking the math test..."

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I have an early morning choir practice at 6:00 am, Tuesday. Yay.
I just finished playing the Hobbit on the computer. It was fun.
I've decided I will now read the book because of the computer game.
I've noticed I should grow up and stop playing computer games.
I should really finish the 7 books I've started that are gathering virtual dust on my computer.
I love photography, but I dislike my teacher.
I like friendship bracelets, but wearing them bothers me.
I don't really know what I'm going to do with my future life.
I enjoy getting my picture taken.
I wish I never quit dance when I was seven.
I wish I decided to take soccer when my mom offered when I was eight.
I wish I could talk to the opposite species known as boys.
I watch Doctor Who sometimes, even though it scares me.

I get scared easily.
I wish I knew myself better than I think I do.
I procrastinate. (take this blog for example)
I wish I could get things done. (driving)
I want to own a cat or dog when I grow up.
I still like myself even though I have a lot of wishes for myself.
I am known as the 'Grammar Police' among my friends
I write my books based on dreams I've had.

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School is going alright for me. I'm doing go--excuse me, well. Proper grammar, there. I don't really know where that list of things came from. I guess some of the other blogs I read are starting to rub off on me. I am in a weird mood today, and I really wish I could listen to my music. Alas, it is Sunday, and I really shouldn't. But I want to.
I really need to read Cry, the Beloved Country for English tomorrow, but I don't feel like it. But I should do it soon.
Really soon.
There are a lot of things I need to get done soon.
Really soon.

Sigh...

Boys stress me out. Especially a certain one I'm thinking of. I'm stressed out by him, if you couldn't tell.
Yes.
He likes me, I don't. (towards him).
He wants to ask me out on a date...and I don't want to.
Why must I be 16?!
Too much stress and opportunities. I can drive, but I don't have the ability or the privilege because I'm lazy.
I can date. But I'm afraid of it.
Sadie Hawkins freaks me out. I was pressured and pressured, so I resisted and resisted. Secretly, I didn't know anyone I could ask (and I didn't want to go in the first place) because I can't talk the the things we call boys. Well, the ones I want to talk to, anyways.
But I don't want to just be a picture in a yearbook. (Yes, I got that from the movie Lemonade Mouth from Disney Channel)
I want to be known, like my used-to-be best friend.
She's popular.
She can talk to the species we call boys.
She has multiple boys fawning over her.
She is girlfriend to the boy I liked in 9th grade.
I don't even think he really knew me. We just casually chatted.
Then she told him I liked him.
They're dating now.

I guess I'm over it, but it's still a sore spot when I think about her.
Not just about the boy, I mean.
We were close. I have pictures and videos to prove it.
Maybe she thought that I wasn't worth her time anymore.
She had too many friends.
I was pushed aside.
Shoved out and replaced by new ones.
I told her I was done.
She seemed okay with it.
Was I disposable?
I was depressed for days.
We never talk, except for the occasional awkward "Hi" in the hallways.
Awkward for me, anyways.
I don't even know if she cares.
I have new friends.
Maybe even better ones.
But I'm still sad.
I care.